Value of Mandalas in the Classroom

I’ve often talked about the value of mandalas for their calming effect on students and their ability to expand creativity. Michelle Waymouth attended one of my seminars and shared that her students love mandalas and are proud of their work. She said that one year she pieced all of her students’ paper mandalas into a “quilt” and hung it Read the rest of this entry »

Autism and Empathy and Mirror Neurons

These articles aren’t new to publication, however, I believe they still are worth reading.

From: Mirror cells’ fading spark: empathy-related neurons may turn off in autism. by Bower, B.
Source: Science News, 12/10/2005.
Via: HighBeam™ Research
COPYRIGHT 2008 Science Service, Inc.

From: WE FEEL YOUR PAIN. . . . . . AND YOUR HAPPINESS, TOO THE HUMAN BRAIN’S SOURCE OF EMPATHY MAY ALSO PLAY A ROLE IN AUTISM by Carey Goldberg, Globe Staff
Source: The Boston Globe (Boston, MA), 12/12/2005.
Via: HighBeam™ Research
Copyright 2009 The Boston Globe

From: Is the future of autism research to be found in the mirror. by Kessler, Richard J.
Source: Pediatrics for Parents, 9/1/2008.
Via: HighBeam™ Research
COPYRIGHT 2008 Pediatrics for Parents, Inc.

From Susan’s booklet, “Martial Arts and the Awakening of a Public School Teacher

Copyright 1995 by Susan Fitzell

Last Wednesday I was hurt during my self-defense class. The instructor was having us practice throws. I don’t like being thrown. I don’t trust the inexperience of the “throwers,” nor do I trust my ability to consistently fall correctly. It’s part of the class, however, so I do it. I don’t know how it happened, but when the young person “threw me” (with a shoulder throw), my head whipped around and hit the floor, hard. Read the rest of this entry »

Behavior Management Cue Card Approach!

Here’s a way to quietly cue students to choose positive behavior. Use a cue card! 

Behavior management cue card instructions:

     1.     Print out this card or your own version of the card.

2.     Choose your method:

a.     Tape a card on the upper right corner of each student desk.

  i.      Laminate the card Read the rest of this entry »

Kung Fu & Self Defense with Susan Fitzell

A program developed specifically for youths ages 6 to 15.  Classes are based on traditional Kung Fu and will focus on physical self defense.  Verbal skills will be taught for dealing with bullying and conflict.  Students will learn self-discipline, leadership skills and conflict management strategies.  Students will also develop fundamental athletic skills.

http://www.executivehealthclub.com/Group_Exercise_Classes/Index.asp?ID=74

Jen was soft spoken and frail in her appearance. She walked with a slow, short stepping gait. Her handwriting was neat, but pained and laborious. People who knew her appreciated her sweet, gentle personality. Jen learned that she had a debilitating, progressive, incurable neurological disease. The news was a devastating blow to Jen and all who knew her.

One day, Jen physically attacked another girl. This behavior was totally uncharacteristic of her. Jen, however, had been cruelly and continually taunted by this girl and a few other students for at least two years. Jen and her parents had notified her school administration of the problem. She had sought help from a school counselor to deal with the harassment. The students were spoken to. No direct disciplinary action had been taken. There are no specific consequences attached to this type of verbal bullying. Finally, distraught over the news about her illness, and tired of silently enduring the verbal abuse of her tormentors, Jen physically lashed out. She was suspended.

Jen showed up to class one more time after that incident. Then she disappeared. She attempted suicide. Fortunately, she did not succeed. She didn’t return to school. She feared the taunting. She didn’t feel safe. The high school failed to provide a safe learning environment for this student. Consequently, she sat home alone. She couldn’t get an equal education. Who is responsible?

The sad news is: most faculty at Jen’s high school was unaware of what happened to her. The majority of the school’s student population didn’t know. If we randomly asked teachers whether teasing, taunting, or harassment was a problem at that school, the majority of faculty and students might say no. The school demographics consist of a mid to upper middle class population in a small New England town. It is not the inner-city. No knives or guns were used. The weapons were words, expressions and gestures. Were they any less damaging? The emotional scars for Jen will last much longer than it takes for a physical wound to heal. Jen was a victim of verbal bullying.

Jen’s story is a drastic example of verbal bullying. What about the kid who jokingly puts down another student in the name of friendly bantering? Sometimes it ends after a few sarcastic remarks. Sometimes it comes to blows when one of the players no longer sees the humor in the situation. I’m not talking about playful teasing that doesn’t cause hurt feelings. I’m talking about put downs. Words that can be taken as insult — even when the players are laughing about them.

I’ve taken a stand on this type of humor in my classroom and home. I simply don’t allow it. I explain to my high school students that my classroom is a safe haven. It is a place for them to come where they do not have to worry about being put down. When they defend their humor, I explain that teens have to take a lot of garbage from too many people. Too many people are quick to put them down. So why should they have to listen to put downs in my classroom. I want them to feel good when they are in my room. I encourage them to say kind things to each other. I remind them how important respect is to me. I tell them that they deserve respect. Put downs are not respectful. What’s interesting is that once they hear the reason behind the rule, they accept it. I give them permission to call me on my behavior if I ever break the rule. (I suggest they do it politely.) I rarely hear insults in my classroom.

When people think of a bully, they think of a punching, kicking, and physically aggressive person. If they had to give a bully a gender, it would be male. This narrow view of bullying causes us to only react strongly to physical bullying in our society. In reality, verbal bullying, which includes harassment, taunting, mocking, exclusion and shunning, can have equally devastating consequences. With the exclusion of death, or permanent injury, physical bullying heals rather quickly. The consequences of verbal bullying can last a lifetime.

I hesitate to refer to verbal bullying as anything other than verbal bullying because I find that there is a tendency to minimize it as a social problem. People react to the word ‘bully’ with a certain sense of alarm. People don’t react to taunting, mocking, exclusion, or shunning with the same degree of concern. I think the alarm should sound just as loudly for verbal bullying as physical bullying.

Consider the typical disciplinary procedures for physical fighting in our schools. They usually involve suspension or expulsion. In contrast, verbal bullying, with the exception of sexual harassment, is often dealt with very lightly and inconsistently. Often, the only consequence is a verbal reprimand. Many teachers ignore it. Verbal bullying is much more prevalent than physical bullying. It is a major problem in our schools and our society.

Verbal harassment is not only minimized as a problem by school faculties and administrations, some school personnel use verbal bullying as a disciplinary or motivational tool. In specific settings, it is also accepted and expected. One only need go to the locker room or the football field to see verbal bullying at peak performance.

Myriam Miedzian, Boys Will Be Boys, writes, “The language of sport is filled with insults suggesting that a boy who is not tough enough, who does not live up to the masculine mystique, is really a girl or homosexual.” She sites football player, David Kopay as saying “like many other coaches, Dillingham [fictitious name] used sexual slurs — ‘fag,’‘queer,’ ‘sissy,’ ‘pussy’ — to motivate (or intimidate) his young athletes.” (Miedzian, 1991, p.202) 

I’ll never forget the look of dismay on a friends’ face when she told of standing on the sidelines of a high school football field shocked at the language being used by the coach to reprimand the team during practice. She was horrified at the example being set for her son by an adult role model. “My husband and I didn’t bring him up that way. We taught him to respect women. This isn’t right, but, there is nothing I can do. My son would never forgive me if I complained about it.” 

During a spirit rally, a football team brought out a stuffed dummy representing the opposing team. They threw the dummy on the field and proceeded to attack it, tearing it to pieces.  “Take ‘em apart” was the epithet. The team was dehumanized, symbolically abused before the entire student body. The message was, “bullying in the name of wining and sports was OK.” The reality is: It’s not OK.  In order to play the game, boys, and in many cases, girls also, must work hard at repressing empathy. They must steel themselves to the humanity of the other team. They must hide their own humanity and feelings to endure the abuse of the coach they are supposed to look up to. (Miedzian, 1991)

High school teachers, coaches and parents of adolescents need to be aware of the price society pays when we ignore, or at worst, participate in verbal bullying. I rarely speak to a parent or teacher who is not concerned about the fate of our society. Disrespect, rudeness, selfishness, bullying and lack of regard for other human beings are rampant in our culture. Before we become discouraged and throw up our hands in resignation, remember: We set the example for our youth. We set limits and boundaries for them to live by. We can make the difference for our society through our words and our actions.

 Excerpted from “Free the Children: Conflict Education for Strong Peaceful Minds” by Susan Fitzell.

Book available @ http://www.aimhieducational.com/Books/CogentCatalystPublications.html

“Hey you, fag with the white sox, come over here!” She commanded in her mocking, derisive tone. I crossed the street to meet her face to face, knowing in my core that I couldn’t defend myself from this group, but determined not to look afraid. Surrounded by a group of girls, I stood alone, facing one larger and tougher than me. “Who do you think you are walking down MY street looking like that?” Next, I felt a sharp, staggering blow to my face and the lingering sting that followed. I knew I was outnumbered, but my anger flared and I did the only thing I knew to defend myself. I was in danger and I knew it, but I feared appearing scared and weak So, I shouted an insulting explicative at her, “F—- Y–.

“What you saying to me?” She started to come closer when a shout from behind her caused her to freeze. “Leave her alone or you’ll have to deal with ME!” warned my friend’s brother. The girl gang leader backed off. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” He said. “Thank you,” I offered, my voice betraying my fear.

Later that week, in my 8th grade classroom, I found a bone neatly wrapped in tin foil on my desk. My heart sank instantly knowing what it meant. I looked up questioningly. Who? Steven was smirking at me from the center of the room surrounded by his friends. “Dog! I thought you’d like a bone for breakfast.” He and his friends broke out in laughter. Their continual taunting and teasing left me feeling ugly, fearful, and worthless. “Steven, stop it now!” yelled the teacher. She looked at me and chastised, “If you ignored him, he wouldn’t act that way. I think you two like each other. Huh, you’ll probably get married someday!” I despised her. I swore to myself that some day I would be a teacher. I would persist in my efforts to be whole, to achieve whatever was necessary to make the world better so other kids didn’t go through what I was going through. I would be different kind of teacher than this woman who did nothing to help me.

That year, I never knew when I would find a dog bone on my desk or a tack on my seat waiting for me to sit, jump up, and yelp for all the class’ amusement. The five block walk home was often a race to avoid being spit on. I hurt deeply, blaming myself for not knowing how to handle the taunting and teasing, for being faulty and inadequate. Why would I think any differently when even the teacher blamed me? I hid in doorways. I tried to be invisible. To survive, I depended on my own group of friends for safe refuge. Yet, through all this, something deep inside me refused to give up

Thirty years later, I can still get in touch with the anger, fear and humiliation that I felt during that time in my life. Shame still flushes through me when I recount these stories in my efforts to help teachers and their students understand what it’s like to be a victim of verbal violence. It has become my mission in life to help others to avoid the pain of victimization. I never intended to do this work. It seemed to find me. Only after I started working to help kids stick up for themselves and resolve conflict peacefully, did I start to come to terms with my own painful history.

It was in the early nineties, that I found myself an observer in classrooms in a way that many teachers cannot be. I was co-teaching and often, because I was not the one up front lecturing, I was in the background, observing. I realized that so many kids swear, taunt, yell, and lash out because of a basic need to defend themselves. Fear of being victimized prompted them to lash out or run out.

Jen stomped out of the room cursing, “Teachers suck! This class is stupid!” She squinted her eyes and directed her anger towards another student, “You, watch out!”

I followed her out of the room and sat with her in a quiet space until she calmed down. “Jen, what do you want?” “I want them to stop picking on me. It’s like, I’m the only one the teacher ever yells at and she never says anything to her!” referring to the girl Jen threatened as she walked out of the room. “People aren’t going to get away with talking trash about me.” “So, you’re trying to stick up for yourself?” “Yeah!” She answered emphatically. “What if there was a way to stick up for yourself without getting yourself in trouble? Are you interested?” “Yeah, maybe. My life stinks the way it’s going now.” I persisted in my efforts to find ways to help Jen and others like her. I found many.

“A boy in my class teases me at recess. He calls me “stache” because he said I had a mustache. Now all the boys are calling me that. I don’t know what to do.” Karen’s big brown eyes stared up at me looking for an answer. Her distress was evident. All I wanted to do was take her in my arms and make it better. “What do you do when he calls you stache?” “I tell him to stop, but he keeps doing it.” “Have you told your parents that this is happening? Have you told anyone?” She lowered her eyes, and quietly answered, “No.” “Would you like to take the problem to the group?” She was in a safe place, a place where kids come together every week to learn martial arts and conflict resolution. “Yes” she answered. She shared the problem with the group and her peers offered suggestions. She decided to tell her mom about the problem and talk to a counselor at school. She also decided to write a letter to the harasser if her parents and counselor would support her through the process. I explained to Karen and her parents that a the letter should include facts about the bullying, how it made her feel, what damage the bullying did to her and what she wanted to have happen next. She left my class and I prayed that she’d find a solution that kept her safe yet stopped the harassment.

The next week Karen showed up for my class beaming. “I did it! I wrote the letter and it stopped! He’s not calling me stache anymore.” I felt her relief and we moved on. The hardest part for me is letting go of the pain that re-emerges every time I see a child who has been victimized. I feel that emotion, knowing that violence is not the solution.

Peace begins deep within our soul. It means observing our self-talk, reflecting on our prejudices, having the courage to change and persisting in our efforts to make that change. I look at the world and wonder if we will see a time where youth are not beaten because of their clothes, excluded because they don’t fit the current rules of the popular culture, singled out and tormented because they are simply different. Then, I’m reminded that there is hope for our children. We see hope through the kindness shown in classrooms where teachers build caring peaceful communities. We see hope in the faces of teachers who see the academic and social value of peaceful classrooms. I see it in the faces of principals who go the extra mile to support their teachers in the process. And, most joyfully, we see it in the faces of children who feel safe in their classrooms.

 This essay was originally published in the Journal of Stellar Peacemaking and can be found at this link: http://74.127.11.121/peacejournal/volume_index/5/v2n2a04.html

Susan Gingras Fitzell, M. Ed.  is a nationally recognized speaker and author of several educational resource books. She has over two decades of experience teaching youth with special needs, students with behavioral and anger management issues, and students who experience bullying. Susan’s company, AIMHI Educational Programs, focuses on building caring school communities. For more information about Susan’s work go to www.aimhieducational.com

Reprinting Susan’s Articles

Would you like to reprint this article on your website, print newsletter, district flyer or e-mail list?

I’m happy to allow you reprint rights to any of my articles as long as they remain complete and unaltered (including the “about the author” information and picture at the end), and you send a copy of your reprint to sfitzell at aimhieducational dot com. Find my other articles at http://www.aimhieducational.com/Articles.html

I wrote the essay below in 1992 after starting martial arts in my early thirties. The message still applies today so I dusted it off and posted. it. I hope you enjoy.

Susan

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I’m a Learning Disabilities teacher at a public high school. I have worked with “at-risk” kids for the past nine years.  I’ve always thought I had a good understanding of my students, and could empathize with their hardships.  However, throughout my own educational training and career, I’ve had very little academic difficulty.  I had to work hard, but, I always did well.  I had enough confidence in my ability to learn that I was willing to make the investment.

Now, when it comes to physical pursuits, I perceive myself as “learning disabled.”  I would describe myself as a klutz.  I’ve had enough bruises in my life from bumping into things to back up that perception.  I never could Read the rest of this entry »

Can bullying in schools can be addressed with a zero tolerance discipline policy and a six-hour in-service on bullying for teachers? What if we include an assembly for students? If a peer mediation program is in place in the school, has ‘bullying’ been adequately addressed? I was outraged at the website of a “bully prevention expert” that claimed that teaching empathy was ineffective in reducing bullying. I have been purchasing and analyzing the popular bully proofing “how to” manuals for schools. Many publishers have jumped on the bandwagon since the advent of school shootings and the resulting public alarm quickly producing curricula and manuals to address bullying and violence in schools. Few programs or resource books address the issue completely.

Unfortunately, there are so many Band-Aid solutions out there that people think they are purchasing a program that will “bully proof” their schools and community, yet these programs barely scratch the surface of what is needed to truly address the issue.

The systemic and holistic approach that is documented to be necessary for long-term change (Stevahn, L. 2000) is difficult to “sell” and it can’t be purchased in a manual or a one-day in-service or zero tolerance discipline policy.

So what works? Choose programs, curricula, and pedagogy that foster caring, inclusive communities. Insure that all school staff is on the same page, working together, consistently teaching what is learned through in-service trainings. Support teachers through the process. Consistently implement a discipline policy that promotes problem solving skills and behavior ownership and you have another piece in place. Bring parents and teachers together to work with children at home to promote understanding of the effects of the media and video games on their children’s minds and then teach them how to resolve conflict in the home, and you have made a significant gain towards bully prevention in your school. Do you have a way to teach anger management, and social skills? Do you have a way to support victims and counsel students who bully to own their behavior and learn to empathize? The latest research on the brain, the media’s effect on the brain and emotional intelligence, compels us to go beyond zero tolerance discipline policies and superficial solutions if we want to truly make a difference in the next generation of youth coming through our school systems. We can make a positive difference and build caring, inclusive school communities as soon as we are willing to make it a priority and do what it takes to get the job done without relying on Band-Aid solutions.

Reference:

Stevahn, L. (2000). School Conflict Programs and Climate: What Matters and Why. Does it work? The Case for Conflict Resolution Education in Our Nation’s Schools.
Washington, DC: Coronet.