“Hey you, fag with the white sox, come over here!” She commanded in her mocking, derisive tone. I crossed the street to meet her face to face, knowing in my core that I couldn’t defend myself from this group, but determined not to look afraid. Surrounded by a group of girls, I stood alone, facing one larger and tougher than me. “Who do you think you are walking down MY street looking like that?” Next, I felt a sharp, staggering blow to my face and the lingering sting that followed. I knew I was outnumbered, but my anger flared and I did the only thing I knew to defend myself. I was in danger and I knew it, but I feared appearing scared and weak So, I shouted an insulting explicative at her, “F—- Y–.

“What you saying to me?” She started to come closer when a shout from behind her caused her to freeze. “Leave her alone or you’ll have to deal with ME!” warned my friend’s brother. The girl gang leader backed off. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” He said. “Thank you,” I offered, my voice betraying my fear.

Later that week, in my 8th grade classroom, I found a bone neatly wrapped in tin foil on my desk. My heart sank instantly knowing what it meant. I looked up questioningly. Who? Steven was smirking at me from the center of the room surrounded by his friends. “Dog! I thought you’d like a bone for breakfast.” He and his friends broke out in laughter. Their continual taunting and teasing left me feeling ugly, fearful, and worthless. “Steven, stop it now!” yelled the teacher. She looked at me and chastised, “If you ignored him, he wouldn’t act that way. I think you two like each other. Huh, you’ll probably get married someday!” I despised her. I swore to myself that some day I would be a teacher. I would persist in my efforts to be whole, to achieve whatever was necessary to make the world better so other kids didn’t go through what I was going through. I would be different kind of teacher than this woman who did nothing to help me.

That year, I never knew when I would find a dog bone on my desk or a tack on my seat waiting for me to sit, jump up, and yelp for all the class’ amusement. The five block walk home was often a race to avoid being spit on. I hurt deeply, blaming myself for not knowing how to handle the taunting and teasing, for being faulty and inadequate. Why would I think any differently when even the teacher blamed me? I hid in doorways. I tried to be invisible. To survive, I depended on my own group of friends for safe refuge. Yet, through all this, something deep inside me refused to give up

Thirty years later, I can still get in touch with the anger, fear and humiliation that I felt during that time in my life. Shame still flushes through me when I recount these stories in my efforts to help teachers and their students understand what it’s like to be a victim of verbal violence. It has become my mission in life to help others to avoid the pain of victimization. I never intended to do this work. It seemed to find me. Only after I started working to help kids stick up for themselves and resolve conflict peacefully, did I start to come to terms with my own painful history.

It was in the early nineties, that I found myself an observer in classrooms in a way that many teachers cannot be. I was co-teaching and often, because I was not the one up front lecturing, I was in the background, observing. I realized that so many kids swear, taunt, yell, and lash out because of a basic need to defend themselves. Fear of being victimized prompted them to lash out or run out.

Jen stomped out of the room cursing, “Teachers suck! This class is stupid!” She squinted her eyes and directed her anger towards another student, “You, watch out!”

I followed her out of the room and sat with her in a quiet space until she calmed down. “Jen, what do you want?” “I want them to stop picking on me. It’s like, I’m the only one the teacher ever yells at and she never says anything to her!” referring to the girl Jen threatened as she walked out of the room. “People aren’t going to get away with talking trash about me.” “So, you’re trying to stick up for yourself?” “Yeah!” She answered emphatically. “What if there was a way to stick up for yourself without getting yourself in trouble? Are you interested?” “Yeah, maybe. My life stinks the way it’s going now.” I persisted in my efforts to find ways to help Jen and others like her. I found many.

“A boy in my class teases me at recess. He calls me “stache” because he said I had a mustache. Now all the boys are calling me that. I don’t know what to do.” Karen’s big brown eyes stared up at me looking for an answer. Her distress was evident. All I wanted to do was take her in my arms and make it better. “What do you do when he calls you stache?” “I tell him to stop, but he keeps doing it.” “Have you told your parents that this is happening? Have you told anyone?” She lowered her eyes, and quietly answered, “No.” “Would you like to take the problem to the group?” She was in a safe place, a place where kids come together every week to learn martial arts and conflict resolution. “Yes” she answered. She shared the problem with the group and her peers offered suggestions. She decided to tell her mom about the problem and talk to a counselor at school. She also decided to write a letter to the harasser if her parents and counselor would support her through the process. I explained to Karen and her parents that a the letter should include facts about the bullying, how it made her feel, what damage the bullying did to her and what she wanted to have happen next. She left my class and I prayed that she’d find a solution that kept her safe yet stopped the harassment.

The next week Karen showed up for my class beaming. “I did it! I wrote the letter and it stopped! He’s not calling me stache anymore.” I felt her relief and we moved on. The hardest part for me is letting go of the pain that re-emerges every time I see a child who has been victimized. I feel that emotion, knowing that violence is not the solution.

Peace begins deep within our soul. It means observing our self-talk, reflecting on our prejudices, having the courage to change and persisting in our efforts to make that change. I look at the world and wonder if we will see a time where youth are not beaten because of their clothes, excluded because they don’t fit the current rules of the popular culture, singled out and tormented because they are simply different. Then, I’m reminded that there is hope for our children. We see hope through the kindness shown in classrooms where teachers build caring peaceful communities. We see hope in the faces of teachers who see the academic and social value of peaceful classrooms. I see it in the faces of principals who go the extra mile to support their teachers in the process. And, most joyfully, we see it in the faces of children who feel safe in their classrooms.

 This essay was originally published in the Journal of Stellar Peacemaking and can be found at this link: http://74.127.11.121/peacejournal/volume_index/5/v2n2a04.html

Susan Gingras Fitzell, M. Ed.  is a nationally recognized speaker and author of several educational resource books. She has over two decades of experience teaching youth with special needs, students with behavioral and anger management issues, and students who experience bullying. Susan’s company, AIMHI Educational Programs, focuses on building caring school communities. For more information about Susan’s work go to www.aimhieducational.com

Reprinting Susan’s Articles

Would you like to reprint this article on your website, print newsletter, district flyer or e-mail list?

I’m happy to allow you reprint rights to any of my articles as long as they remain complete and unaltered (including the “about the author” information and picture at the end), and you send a copy of your reprint to sfitzell at aimhieducational dot com. Find my other articles at http://www.aimhieducational.com/Articles.html

Do you have difficulty finding planning time with your team, paraprofessionals, co-teacher, or special education liaison?
In order for collaboration to be effective, you need time to plan together. If you don’t have the time to discuss plans, review upcoming tests, consider recommended modifications and implementation of I.E.P. goals, it will be difficult if not impossible to have a successful inclusive classroom.

 If your school provides you with planning time, stay focused on the task. Try to avoid social conversation because it will only leave you feeling as if you accomplished nothing afterwards. If possible, share agenda and task information beforehand through school mail so that the time you have can be used to the maximum benefit.

Speak up if you are being asked to give up planning time for other duties. You need that time and it is legitimate to require it.

If your school does not provide planning time, it will probably make your life easier in the long run, if you can employ some of the following options:

1. Use time before school, after school, or during common preps/specials to meet and plan. Remember: The goal is to make YOUR job easier and more successful in the long run. It is a waste of your energy to begrudge the time if you choose this option.
2. Arrange for coverage with a substitute one day a week or month to free time to collaborate.
3. Contact your local PTA and see if there are parent volunteers who may be willing to help cover classes so you can plan. High Schools seriously under utilize volunteers.
4. Oftentimes substitutes have free blocks of time when the teacher they are substituting for has prep periods. See if a substitute can cover your class during a free block of time.
5. For information that must be communicated before the next school day, you might arrange to call each other after hours.
6. At the least, communicate through the mailbox by sharing what is working, what isn’t working and what is needed.
7. Communicating through e-mail is another viable option.
8. If the regular classroom teacher can provide the special education staff person with copies of lesson plans, tests, projects ahead of time by simply photocopying and placing these items in the support teacher’s mail box or e-mailing the plans to the collaborative teacher, it allows enough time for the specialist to assist with accommodations and make helpful recommendations. It also enables that person to go into the class prepared to help.
9. Grade reports placed in the special education teacher’s mailbox enables both the regular classroom teacher and the special education teacher to catch failures before they become quarter grades.
10. Use the time you do have face to face effectively. Avoid going off on tangents. If you are stuck, put the difficulty aside and come back to it later.

Copyright 2002 Susan Fitzell, M. Ed.
www.aimhieducational.com

I was working with an elementary school in New Hampshire today and walked into a classroom with an incredibly calming environment. I immediately noticed that the teacher had turned off the florescent lights. Instead, she had four floor lamps and a table lamp strategically placed around the room. There were no cords visible. She had the cords tucked away so that students would not trip on them. She, also, had calming classical music playing in the background. The difference between that classroom and the hall was striking. Students were on task and happily going about their work. 

It’s wonderful to see strategies that I advocate for in practice. One of the first dimensions of learning is “Attitude and Perception”. The classroom environment plays a key role in promoting positive attitudes and perceptions for learning.

I acknowledge that there have been controversial results from studies done on the benefits of Full-spectrum lighting vs. incandescent or other non-florescent lighting. There is no argument that, although economical, florescent lighting can have detrimental effects. The debate between full-spectrum vs. other non-florescent light sources may come down to personal preference or psychological benefits. See the following links for more information.

 http://www.apollolight.com/full-spectrum_controversy.html a single article commenting on the research.

http://www.fullspectrumsolutions.com/cmenuitem_12.htm a source for several articles on lighting.

Studies that conclude that natural lighting improves learning:

http://www.h-m-g.com/Projects/daylighting/publicity%20daylighting.htm

http://www.oregon.gov/ENERGY/CONS/school/docs/ashcreek.PDF

http://www.pprc.org/pubs/schools/design.cfm

And here’s a source for research based music for the classroom environment

http://www.edfacilities.org/pubs/outcomes.pdf

I wrote the essay below in 1992 after starting martial arts in my early thirties. The message still applies today so I dusted it off and posted. it. I hope you enjoy.

Susan

****

I’m a Learning Disabilities teacher at a public high school. I have worked with “at-risk” kids for the past nine years.  I’ve always thought I had a good understanding of my students, and could empathize with their hardships.  However, throughout my own educational training and career, I’ve had very little academic difficulty.  I had to work hard, but, I always did well.  I had enough confidence in my ability to learn that I was willing to make the investment.

Now, when it comes to physical pursuits, I perceive myself as “learning disabled.”  I would describe myself as a klutz.  I’ve had enough bruises in my life from bumping into things to back up that perception.  I never could Read the rest of this entry »